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Hulk Hogan’s marriage, hair go down drain

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Hairy situation: After taking his balls, Linda Hogan strips Hulkster of remaining dignity, hair.

The real reason Hulk Hogan was suicidal in the days following the nasty split from his wife, Linda: the Hulkster accidentally burned off the precious remaining scraps of his mane when trying to bleach it, reports contactmusic.com. Seems that Linda has been bleaching Hulk’s hair since the ’80s, when the two most powerful forces in the universe were joined in marriage, so Hogan claims that he “never really paid attention” to the process.

His voice cracking, Hogan  tells contactmusic.com: “When she filed for divorce, and I was on my own and the roots grew out, I went to my local drug store and bought the hair (chemicals) and put in on. I didn’t know you weren’t supposed to put it on the scalp. I kind of rubbed it through (my hair) and then the phone rang. It was on for an hour… (Then) I’m in the shower and it (my hair) all goes down there (the drain).”

Reportedly, Hogan was relegated to using hair extensions and Krazy Gluing a bandana to his head following the mishap. Linda was also allegedly administering his injections, which explains why Hogan’s muscles have shrunk in greater proportion to his testicles (which have since been removed by the former Mrs. Hulkster).

My goodness. Hard to believe Hogan and Ric Flair, two of the top three icons of the ’80s (along with Dusty Rhodes), have had their asses handed to them of late by their women, in public if you will.  Sure, Rhodes was emasculated years ago by Baby Doll, who cost him the NWA World title so she could ride Space Mountain in 1986–but at least Big Dust went on to find true love in the form of the late Sapphire.

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