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Matt Hardy commits career suicide

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Toilet humor: Despite flushing away his career, Matt Hardy never dies.

I haven’t been this upset since Vince McMahon was tragically killed with a car bomb during a live episode of Monday Night RAW. Below is Matt Hardy’s “suicide note,” posted on YouTube and tweeted to his followers earlier this evening. (I love how a Google Ad Sense banner ad pops up midway through the video, as if to say, “This suicide has been brought to you by FansEdge.com–your one-stop source for authentic jerseys, caps, tees and hoodies this NFL season.”) And really, I don’t think that font was nearly ominous enough; c’mon, Matt, don’t behave like this is your first suicide–you’ve been here before, so act like it.

I have to assume this means the old Matt Hardy is dead, and he’s been reborn a la Vince Russo. Sort of like how the Undertaker always “dies” and comes back with a new wrinkle in his gimmick. How can I be so cold? Maybe it’s this tweet from his sister-in-law, Beth (Jeff’s wife): “When the cops show up to our house at 11 pm, for a ‘suicide call’ the fucking joke is over @MATTHARDYBRAND. Stop trying to work the Internet. I guess you got what you wanted. Everyone is talking about you, again. But it’s not in a good way.”

And here I thought Kevin Nash powerbombing CM Punk at SummerSlam was a terrible finish….

UPDATE 8/31/11: The Fayetteville Observer is reporting it was all a hoax, a personal joke among Matt and his followers worldwide, so get over it, haters! Shocking! Brilliant! A modern-day Orson Welles crossed with Andy Kaufman that Matt Hardy. His suicide note has already been deleted by YouTube for violating its terms of service and let’s hope Twitter banishes him as well. I’ve since removed the note/video as well and replaced it with a song that’s only fitting.

  1. Encore
    September 14th, 2011 at 15:18 | #1

    He was busted for another DUI last night, you need to update this

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