Scott Bowden presents Kentucky Fried Rasslin

Another angle bombs: If a car explosion can't stop Mr. McMahon, who can? Not these greenhorns.

By most accounts, what distinguished Vince McMahon as a booking genius in the ’80s and ’90s was his amazing attention to detail and ability to carefully book an angle as far as a year in advance, carefully planning with the likes of Pat Patterson and J.J. Dillon to execute his vision to perfection. Unlike the bookers for his hapless competition, McMahon’s booking didn’t suffer because of nepotism or centering angles around himself because he had no relatives who were wrestlers and his performing was limited to announcing. (I think we all know how that nepotism deal eventually made a sharp turn for the worse.)

When he became an in-ring performer in the late ’90s, Mr. McMahon quickly evolved into one of the most intriguing characters in recent memory; he went on to become one of the best heels ever. But what used to be fascinating–seeing the former lead announcer, the voice of the WWF in the ’80s and early ’90s, reveal his true self as the ruthless owner–has turned into a nuisance. Mr. McMahon is just another sad old-timer who doesn’t realize his time in the spotlight is done.

After an intriguing start, his long-awaited showdown with Bret Hart earlier this year fizzled after the shoot-like feel of the program turned into just another wrestling angle when the Hitman supposedly crushed his ankle in the parking lot during RAW. Their WrestleMania “match” itself was an ill-timed, illogical, horribly booked abomination that McMahon should have had the instincts to call an audible on at the mid-point. After the bout, he vowed that the Mr. McMahon character had come full circle (since it really spawned from the Montreal Screwjob) and would no longer appear on WWE TV. But he just couldn’t help himself.

After a few sporadic appearances on RAW last month, he injected himself (much like a lethal dose of NWO poison), into the NXT angle Monday night. That part doesn’t bother me. What’s annoying is that Mr. McMahon is back as the same old character, no lessons learned, no change of heart…just the same snide, twisted, arrogant bastard…just the kind of image you want to portray as the owner of the company and as the husband of a candidate for the U.S. Senate. Besides, that character is stale and has run its course. For Gotch’s sake, let Mr. McMahon die.

The only way McMahon’s appearance would have worked Monday is if he had been outraged over the former NXTers from the start, perhaps coming to Bret’s defense and ending that on-air relationship on a positive note. (I’ve already detailed how the NXT’s Hart attack was ridiculous and similar to the angle that ruined the buildup to Hitman/McMahon match at WrestleMania.) The chairman of the board should have been furious that these rookies had the gall to bring his flagship show to a halt and assault his employees, including the face of his company (and major revenue generator), John Cena. He should maintained Hart’s order that they were all fired.

Such a verbal assault would have helped the angle regain its edge and danger. Instead, they did another Vince Russo-type swerve, where it appeared McMahon was aligned with the NXT guys before they slowly (and I mean slowly) turned on him and left him for dead. On that note, on Monday’s RAW, they had Sheamus seemingly give up the WWE title in babyface fashion before quickly regaining his heel form and mocking the crowd; Chris Jericho seemingly helped Evan Bourne (who’s really shining of late) to his feet in a sign of good sportsmanship before tossing him back to the mat; and finally, the NXT gang (they really need a name for this group…perhaps they’ll go with “Nexus” so they can keep the N armbands) delivers their apologies before crashing the main event again. Back in the day, wrestlers would often watch each other’s matches so they wouldn’t go out and do the same thing. RAW has become way too predictable and repetitive–the result of too many “creative” hands in the mix. It would have been so much more effective and logical if McMahon had come back in babyface mode, calling for the rookies’ heads, who then suddenly appear and beat him half to death. (Wouldn’t outrage be the logical McMahon reaction if outsiders had attacked two of his sports entertainers and ruined a RAW broadcast?) The only way the crippled chairman could then get revenge is for his WWE Superstars to teach these punks a lesson in the ring…i.e., he’s forced to offer them contracts and does so begrudingly.

Instead, some mystery general manager (Michael Cole?) gives the greenies contracts at the beginning of Monday’s broadcast. OK…then why are they attacking McMahon at the end of the show? Given the heinous nature of their initial attack, why is Vince acting chummy and laughing in the moments before their attack? They have clearly stated their problem was with WWE management…but the new GM has awarded them contracts and reinstated Wade Barrett’s PPV title shot…so what’s the point of attacking Vince? Too many plot holes for my liking.

As Dutch Mantell told me about his booking days, “See, that’s what I always tried to do when I was booking. I’d do something, and then I’d go back and take the holes out. I would do that because a man sittin’ there who works a 9-to-5 job or whatever, is gonna see this angle and he’s gonna go back and think about it…dissect it. And the same with a movie. Ever watch a movie and you go back and think, ‘Oh, that doesn’t make sense ‘cause this happened.’? That’s because the writer or director didn’t take the holes out. So, if you take the holes out, now you’ve gotta a viable scenario that should make you money. And that’s the key word: should.”

Little details like that rarely slipped through the cracks when Vince McMahon the booker was at the top of his game. Too bad Mr. McMahon the performer has clouded his vision.

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Capping off the long, painful swerve that everyone but Vince McMahon apparently saw coming, Bret Hart revelaed on RAW last night that he staged a freak car accident, with help from the RAW cameramen and production team employed by the Chairman of the Board. It’s really a shame the Hart/McMahon program took this turn, which was fascinating initially because of its inherent realistic nature playing off the bitter feelings of both men that have been simmering for 13 years. Tricking heels into a match has been a staple of the business for years, and if executed correctly, can build the fans’ anticipation for when the bad guy finally receives his comeuppance. I’ve seen it used with mixed results in Memphis over the years. Often, in many Southern promotions, the local heel or manager would be tricked into signing a contract to wrestle a bear. (Dutch Mantell sheds some light on this inhumane practice in his entertaining book.)  Perhaps the most memorable such scenario was the ruse Jerry Lawler and Lance Russell pulled on Bill Dundee in November 1985 to goad the Superstar into one more Southern title defense before NWA champion Ric Flair returned to Memphis to face the region’s titlist–this was incredibly hokey, even by Memphis standards. (Apparently, some fans were fooled, as several mothers in Memphis flooded the WMC-TV studio switchboard complaining of the example Lawler had just set for the little Kingers.)

Bad casting: No way Hart should have touched McMahon until WrestleMania.

I like the idea of Mr. McMahon being afraid of Hart, showing a contrast to the bravado that he’s routinely displayed heading into high-profile matches over the years with Hulk Hogan and Ric Flair. It’s just the execution that was flawed here. Given the Hart family’s personal tragedies over the years, it would have been far more believable had Bret claimed to have experienced a gym accident or developed lingering complications from his stroke that would cause him to rescind his challenge to McMahon. Fans have largely been programmed to tune out backstage antics and accidents as “part of the show,” which hurt the effectiveness of the injury angle. The reveal last night was OK, though McMahon agreeing so passively to Stu’s induction into the HOF as part of the contract terms was too quickly glossed over my taste. I was also surprised that Hart physically assaulted McMahon, belting him with the cast twice before exiting to the cheers of the fans. However, I loved the smirk on Hart’s face when McMahon swiveled around to find the cast on and crutch on the desk, and the Hitman was strong on the mic after.

However, a better scenario might have been for one of McMahon’s henchmen from last week, (e.g., Jack Swagger), to hit the ring after the “cast-off” reveal only to be subdued by the

An Attitude Era Gone By: The Rattlesnake slithers back into the picture with the Chairman and the Hitman.

Hitman, who would proceed to ensnare the All-American American in the Sharpshooter as Vince scooted away in horror as the camera faded out. Again, it’s all bout whetting the fans’ appetite to see Hart get his hands on Vince , so the less actual physical interaction between the two until WrestleMania the better. Plus, it would remind older fans and help educate new ones of just had badass a finisher Bart Hart has in his repertoire.  

File under Bret Hart, Vince McMahon and Steve Austin.

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The Excellence of Communication: Bret and HBK bury the hatchet.

Radio host Michael Landsberg of ”Off the Record” conducted a candid interview with Bret Hart, questioning his decision to return to WWE after pointedly declaring 10 years ago on the same program that he would “never” again work with Vince McMahon. Hart cites “fun” and “adventure” as the main reasons for his return.

“I didn’t go back because I had to have it or needed it,” he tells Landsberg. ”I don’t have the schedule that the wrestlers have and just to have a bit part on the show. Hopefully, I’ll make some money, but it was never really about the money. Even when I talked to him [Vince McMahon], we didn’t bicker about what I was going to be paid. It was more what they would do with me and how we could make it fun. It was a big negative thinking about it for 13 years and being angry about what happened, and trying to take something negative and turn it into a positive.”

These comments reflect a sharp contrast to Bret’s feelings not long after brother Owen’s death, which he now accepts as “as an accident.”

Hart went on to say that he truly has mended fences with Shawn Michaels and maintains that what took place in the ring Jan. 4 on RAW was quite real–at least to him. (Interesting that Jerry Jarrett, who worked with HBK and the Hitman in the Former Fed in the mid-’90s, wrote on Jan. 5 that the fans may not realize just how real that segment was.)

“I think I took the first step and I think that meant something to him,” Hart says. “I honestly think they [McMahon and Michaels] had so much shame and guilt that they didn’t want to take that step. I think when I met Shawn that day and when I basically forgave him in the ring in front of everybody, it was far more real than people think it was. I know everything in wrestling seems like it’s all rehearsed or put on [in a funny moment, Landsberg intejects, "It is!"'] but with Shawn that day, it was very sincere in the way we were talking to each other. The truth is that once I took all that weight off Shawn’s back, he’s been a better person to me, anyways, and we’ve kind of picked up where we left off and we’re like old friends, which is kind of strange.”

Hart didn’t speak so glowingly of Ric Flair and the Nature Boy’s return to the ring in TNA. (And if you saw Flair flopping around and bleeding like a stuck pig Monday night in the days following his assault at the manicured hands of his wife, Jackie Beems, it’s easy to understand Hart’s stance.)

“Ric Flair, I feel sorry for him. You were talking about wrestlers saying, ‘When is enough, enough? When do they ever give up and go home to their families and their real lives?’ Ric is one of those guys who’s a little ahead of me, but I remember a time knowing that I had to get out of wrestling and go home to my kids before they were grown up and gone or and that I had no family live. I think wrestlers make this decision–and I’m sure Hogan is the same and different guys–where they decide they have to go home to their families or stay in the wrestling business and that becomes their family. Flair stayed in the wrestling business, forgot about his family, his family moved on and left him; the only thing Ric Flair knows is the dressing room, the airports, the bar after, and drinking.”

His comments regarding Flair aren’t surprising since the two have had a stormy relationship that goes back to the “16-time” World champion’s first run in the WWF, with Hart suspecting that Flair purposely sabotaged some of their matches, including the Hitman’s first WWF title win in Saskatoon. The two have bickered back and forth for years, questioning the other’s greatness and, ironically enough, accusing each other of being too routine in their matches. (They both have a point in that regard.) Most of the boys have trouble adjusting to life off the road and out of the spotlight when their wrestling careers end. For years, they shared a love/hate relationship with the lifestyle as they traveled around the world entertaining strangers while their families sat home waiting for their fathers and husbands to return. Admittedly, Flair is, by all accounts, among the worst addicts to the biz; however, I would think Hart could him a little slack since he admits that the primary factor behind his WWE return was boredom. (Incidentally, as WWE prepared Flair’s elaborate exit nearly two years ago, several in the company voiced their concern over how Slick Ric would handle life at home–clearly, not well.) Although Hart’s affairs and vagabond lifestyle cost him his marriage in the end, given the chance, there’s no question the Hitman would do it all over again if he could.

For more excerpts from the interview, check out James Caldwell’s piece at the Torch, or listen to the audio at the Off the Record podcast site.

Forget about HBK–join the KFR “Klique”

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