Scott Bowden presents Kentucky Fried Rasslin

Part III of III

I lost track of Terry Funk a bit following his performance as Jerry Lawler’s tag-team partner in January 1983. I was limited to

The Funk doesn't fall far from the tree: Dory Sr. and his boys.

Apter-mag accounts, which weren’t exactly known for their accuracy. I think I’d heard that Funk had retired in Japan. Then I noticed he’d served as special referee–wearing a tuxedo no less–during Jumbo Tsuruta’s AWA World title win Nick Bockwinkel in February 1984. Then…nothing.

As Vince McMahon continued his march across the country, signing every former NWA legend and repacking them in his own image, it was only a matter of time before he signed Terry and Dory Funk, Jr. Terry, who saw the writing on the wall years before when fans in Amarilla started asking about Georgia cable TV stars like Tommy Rich, actually called McMahon asking for a spot as he knew Junior was in position to take over the business, with the National Wrestling Alliance continuing to crumble. While the surviving promoters of the NWA were desperately attempting to organize a counterattack to McMahon and the ever-expanding tent of his World Wrestling Federation, former NWA champs Terry and Dory knew the Alliance was dead. Unlike many former NWA greats forced to adapt a new moniker, Terry Funk remained Terry Funk.

Terry did adopt a little more of an outlaw persona in 1985, always wearing a cowboy hat, chaps and vest to the ring (a getup he sometimes wore anyway in the ’70s and ’80s for publicity shots) and carrying a branding iron. As part of a memorable angle to get Terry over as a maniac with a short fuse in his new environment, Funk attacked ring announcer Mel Phillips, who jokingly put on the Texan’s cowboy hat after making the introductions for a TV-taping match. In keeping the frequent post-match humiliation of WWF jobbers at the time, Terry would also brand his fallen foes with the logo of his infamous Double-Cross Ranch in Amarillo. McMahon pretty much allowed Terry to be Terry, even pairing Funk with Jimmy Hart in the Former Fed, who had managed him in his feud with Lawler in Memphis. Dory wasn’t as lucky, taking the name of “Hoss” Funk. (Don’t even get me started about the masked Jimmy Jack Funk, Jesse Barr.)

Unfortunately, the highlight of his WWF run with with Dory as a win over Junkyard Dog and Tito Santana at WRESTLEMANIA 2. Terry also volunteered to put Hogan over clean in the middle in a WWF title match on NBC’s SATURDAY NIGHT’S MAIN EVENT after no other big name would agree to lose in convincing fashion in front of such a huge audience, a bout that garnered a tremendous rating. Interesting to note that the finish saw the champion retain with a lariat rather than the legdrop, perhaps because a Hogan/Funk match would be widely reported in the Japanese press and the former is regarded as more devastating finisher in the Land of the Rising Sun. Equally as rare as Hogan winning with anything other than the legdrop: He’s wearing blue trunks and boot as opposed to the trademark yellow and red, which had yet to become his trademark.

In his book, MORE THAN HARDCORE, Terry explained his heart wasn’t into it the business, and he quickly tired of the WWF travel, which was brutal at the time. Similar to how the late Jack Brisco gave his notice, Terry packed his bags one night and left the hotel room he was sharing with Jimmy Hart, telling his manager he was finished in the Fed.

I don’t believe I saw Terry Funk again until 1989, when he appeared ringside–again in a tux–for the NWA’s CLASH OF THE CHAMPIONS show in New Orleans, serving as guest commentator for the classic two-of-three falls NWA World title rematch between new champ Ricky Steamboat and challenger Ric Flair. Terry’s enthusiasm was evident, and some have speculated that he decided to make his full-time in-ring return to the United States that very Sunday afternoon.

Terry returned in memorable fashion, appearing as one of three judges for the final Steamboat vs. Flair PPV rematch at WRESTLEWAR ‘89. (Yep, the tux was back. Terry may be a lunatic, but he can be an awfully dapper lunatic.) In a prematch interview, Terry sounded completely sane, humbled to be included in the same company as fellow judge Lou Thesz, former “six-time” NWA World champion.

Following Flair’s title win over Steamboat that afternoon, Funk entered the ring to congratulate the Nature Boy on his sixth World title win. The two exchanged words, leading to Terry viciously attacking Flair and piledriving the new champ on a table–fairly hardcore stuff for the time. (Although Randy Savage performed the same move on Ricky Morton in Memphis about five years earlier, which looked far deadlier.)

With Flair on the shelf selling the injury until his return during the July GREAT AMERICAN BASH card on PPV, NWA/WCW booker Eddie Gilbert attempted to arrange a match between Funk and Jerry Lawler at the Mid-South Coliseum when the NWA made a stop in Memphis. Gilbert had grown up idolizing both wrestlers and knew such a match would be the NWA’s best shot at drawing in Memphis. But it was not to be.

Upon Flair’s return, the Champ and Funk had a memorable feud, culminating in an “I Quit” match at the NWA/WCW CLASH OF THE CHAMPIONS in Troy, N.Y. in 1989. At the time, it was the highest-rated wrestling match ever shown on cable TV–just a tremendous, stiff match.

Following the “I Quit” loss to Flair, Funk was relegated to announcing duties, forming a brief yet memorable duo with commentator Chris Cruise, whom Terry affectionately referred to as “the Crispy Cruiser” on the air. Funk eventually left.

In the summer of 1990, Lawler was feuding with the Snowman (Eddie Crawford, who had a tremendous physique but couldn’t work a lick) over the Unified World title. Upset over his payoffs and placement on the card (Lawler was still working the main events vs. the returning Eddie Gilbert, yet Snowman was the so-called “World” champ), Crawford quit. Snowman supposedly attempted to blackmail the Memphis promotion., threatening to sell Lawler’s beautifully crafted Unified World title strap to drug dealers if his demands weren’t met.

The company instead stripped Snowman of the title and hosted a tournament, booking some the biggest names available who weren’t signed to WWF or WCW at the time to re-establish some semblance of credibility for the championship: Eddie Gilbert, who had returned in August and had a hand in booking Memphis at the time, Dick Murdoch, “Mean” Mark Callous (the future Undertaker in WWF), Dick Slater, Steve Keirn, “Hollywood” John Tatum, Austin Idol…and Terry Funk. It was the best wrestling card at the Coliseum in years, with the highlight for me seeing Funk live once again vs. Lawler in the semi-finals. Eddie’s interference led to Terry’s disqualification, leaving Lawler to beat Idol to win the tourney and strap.

But that wasn’t the last of Terry Funk in Memphis. Funk returned on Nov. 5, 1990, for a World title match against Lawler–more than 14 years after their first bout for the NWA title at the Coliseum. Funk won the title…and promptly left the area. The way it was presented on TV, I believe the promotion wanted to re-establish the belt as a true World title, with the story that Terry was busy defending the title all over the globe and wouldn’t return to Memphis for months.

Funk did made title defense vs. Lawler at the Dallas Sportatorium, which was a great old-school bout with excellent psychology. The two hadn’t lost a step working together. Following that bout, with Funk retaining, the storyline was that the champion  had placed a bounty on Lawler’s head to knock the King from title contention. Funk finally returned in March 1991, dropping the belt back to Lawler. Like Lawler’s AWA World title win over Curt Hennig in May 1998, Jackie Fargo served as special ref when the King dethroned Funk as Unified World champ. In this promo to hype the bout, Funk set Memphis tourism back 20 years with this frank analysis of the city and its inhabitants.

More than two years later, I got my start in the business as a referee. Working as referee for the Monday Night Memories reunion show at the Mid-South Coliseum in early 1994, I was anxious to meet the returning Terry Funk. I confided in Eddie Gilbert (my first mistake) that Funk and I had a mutual friend in Red West.
West is Elvis Presley’s former bodyguard and best friend, who’s forged a successful career as a character actor, including an appearance with Funk in the classic (ahem) Patrick Swayze vehicle ROAD HOUSE. West, a former member of Presley’s Memphis Mafia, had turned part of his home into a makeshift actor’s studio, located near my hometown of Germantown, Tenn. I had been a student at the Red West Actor’s Studio for a few months, adding to my busy schedule as an undergrad at the University of Memphis, a FedEx employee and part-time pro ‘rasslin’ referee. (I was about three months away from making my heel turn as Eddie Gilbert’s new manager.)

I later learned that Eddie had informed Terry that a nervous rookie ref would be approaching him, using the West connection as a way to break the ice. As I hesitantly approached Funk in the dressing room, his eyes widened before he said, “Who the hell are you?” I quietly introduced myself as the ref and quickly offered up Red West’s name. He looked at me incredulously, slowing saying, “I…don’t…know…any…Fred West.” I looked at the ground, shuffling my feet, before speaking up, “Um, no sir. I said, ‘Red West.” Funk’s reply: “I already told you: I…don’t…know…any…Fred West!” Needless to say, I was scared shitless. I looked over at Eddie, who began shaking his head and waving me off. Undaunted, I pressed ahead, a little louder this time: “No, sir! RED West!” Funk stared me right in the eyes before he cracked. He began laughing, put his hand on my shoulder, and said, “Oh, Red West! I know that guy! He’s a helluva guy!” We then talked for a bit about Red, as I noticed Eddie with a broad smile on his mug.

Later that evening, Tommy Rich piledrove me in the ring, signaling the end of a six-man tag involving Funk. Even though I was supposedly knocked out from the piledriver, Funk picked up my lifeless body by the hair, screaming, “C’mere, you sonuvabitch!” The former NWA World champ punched me before putting the boots to me. I was thrilled–one of the highlights of my career in the business. Not everyone can say they were stomped by greatness.

File under Terry Funk, Jerry Lawler and Memphis Wrestling.

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Eye-opening: Terry Funk sees the vicious side of Jerry Lawler in an empty Mid-South Coliseum.

I sat there stunned in my parents’ living room in Bartlett Germantown in 1981 after viewing the empty-arena footage between Jerry Lawler and Terry Funk in early May, an incident that left the former NWA World champ writhing on the canvas struggling to keep his eyeball in place. Terry may have been down, but certainly not out–which was evident in his desperate post-match plea for help.

In between requests for Lance to get help, he continues to insult Lawler: “Help me, Lance! God, help me! My eyeee! Where’s Lawler?! My eye! He’s chicken! He’s yellow! Yellow pig! Piiiiggg!” I knew I just had to be at the Mid-South Coliseum when the Funker came calling from revenge.

I believe the promotion aired the empty-arena footage on Saturday, May 9, to set up a Monday, May 11 bout between Lawler and Dory Funk, Jr., who was returning to get payback for his little brother’s latest royal ass kicking at the hands of the King. This scenario unfolded around the time of my birthday, which meant a trip to the matches with my Uncle Robert was forthcoming. We waited a week for Terry’s return on May 18, which occurred the following Monday night after Lawler’s victory against Dory Jr. on the 11th.

This time, both Funks would be after Lawler’s hide. Realizing that he’d be in the ring with the only brother combo in history to win the NWA World title, Lawler secured the services of another former NWA titlist: Jack Brisco, whom Terry had defeated for the belt. I don’t recall much of Lawler’s promo, except for a tidbit that even a recently-turned-10-year-old could understand. When thinking of a partner for the bout, Lawler said he was trying to picture someone who hated the Funks just as much as he did. The King explained to announcer Lance Russell that Terry cost Jack Brisco the World title and about $150,000 additional income a year. “Wouldn’t you hate somebody who cost you $150,000?” the King asked rhetorically. I envision my big head nodding in front of my parents’ set upon hearing those words. (Funny how Lawler didn’t disclose how Jack for years thought Dory Jr. faked an injury to avoid dropping the World strap to him as planned. Upon healing, Dory instead lost the title to Harley Race, who eventually dropped the belt to Jack in Houston.)

I can’t say for certain, but I’m willing to bet that Lawler used the standard line when bringing in an ex-foe to be his partner for a big tag match: “When you’re looking for a partner for a match like this, you try to think of the person who has given you the toughest bouts of your career. And nobody has given me any tougher matches than … (fill in the blank, which included over the years the following: Bill Dundee, Austin Idol, ‘Handsome’ Jimmy Valiant, Dutch Mantel, Joe LeDuc and Nick Bockwinkel).”

Lance, of course, heavily hyped the May 18 grudge match as the first time three NWA World champions would appear in a tag bout together. Terry also sent in an interview with his injured eye bandaged, vowing to overthrow the King once and for all. I was sold.

Two rings were set up for the evening’s two-ring, triple-chance battle royal, which resulted in the main event tag action spreading onto two canvases. Terry got color over his injured eye, which made for a creepy sight as the blood turned the bandages red. As Dory was locked up with Jack in one ring, Terry threw powder in Lawler’s eyes, blinding him–an eye for eye, I suppose. Terry then quickly small packaged Lawler for the win. I was despondent upon leaving the Coliseum, as I believed that a Lawler victory over two former NWA champions in the same match would have catapulted him in the ratings, putting him in line for a World title shot. I vividly recall asking my Uncle Robert, “Do you think this will hurt Lawler in the ratings?” Bless my heart.

Crowds for the Lawler/Funk feud were good, though not great for Memphis at the time, with crowds usually in the 5,000 to 6,500 range. The promotion would get hot later in ‘81, with the emphasis on wild tag bouts involving Lawler and various partners (Dundee, Valiant, Steve Keirn, Tojo Yamamoto, etc.) against members of Jimmy Hart’s First Family, including a sell-out of 11,300-plus for Jerry Lawler and “Handsome” Jimmy Valiant vs. the Dream Machine and Bugsy McGraw. The blow-off to Lawler/Funk occurred on May 25, with Lawler winning the showdown. Funk wouldn’t show his face in Memphis again for over two years…this time at Lawler’s request.

Yep, you guessed it: seems Lawler needed just the right partner for a grudge six-man tag involving the King and freshly turned babyface Sweet Brown Sugar (Koko Ware) vs. Hart’s team of Bobby Eaton, Sabu (the late Coco Samoa…not the one of ECW fame) and Lawler’s cousin, the ever-bland Carl Fergie, on Sunday, Jan. 30, 1983. And apparently, this time it was Terry Funk who had given Lawler the toughest battles of the King’s career, as the Funker was summoned for emergency babyface tag-team duty. (Actually, the storyline was that promoter Eddie Marlin had secured Funk as Lawler’s partner after the King told him to find the toughest, meanest, goofiest wrestler he could find to be his partner. Upon hearing the news that it was Funk, Lance Russell bellows “Ohhhughhh.” Classic.)

The six-man bout for the 30th was set up by a brilliant brawl on Jan. 24, with Eaton and Sabu defeating Lawler and Sugar in one of the best brawls in wrestling at the time and widely regarded as a classic among tape traders in the ’80s. Afterward, the evil Family painted Lawler black, with Hart screaming, “You wanna be black, Lawler? You got it, baby!” (Lawler, always looking to promote racial harmony, formed an alliance with Koko after the former Family member refused to shine Hart’s shoes on the air.)

Funk made an appearance on the live Jan. 29 show to again remind fans of just how crazy he was. He uttered a line that I’ve never forgotten over the years: “When I was just a kid, I used to bite the legs off grasshoppers and eat them. And my dad used to say, ‘Terry, why do you do stuff like that?’ And I’d say, ‘Just for the hell of it, Dad.’”

Funk, Sugar and Lawler then proceeded to beat the hell out of the Masked Marauders, Jesse Barr and referee Jerry Calhoun on the TV show’s expiration-of-time match. Rookie manager Jimmy Cornette, who was managing Barr, made the mistake of telling Lawler before the show how big a fan he was of Funk’s. As a rib–and unbeknownst to Cornette–Lawler told Funk to go after Jim during the bout and rip his clothes off. Good thing Cornette was quick on his feet, as Terry fired a chair his way that could have taken his head off, with Lance screaming at Jimmy, “Get away from me! Don’t be standing around me!” Just tremendous.

Poor Jimmy then had to go out there with his slacks taped up for the show’s closing moments.

The King, Sugar and Funk defeated the hated trio the next day in a Texas Death match at the Coliseum, with Fergie unable to answer the bell after repeated Lawler piledrivers.

Next week: More than 20 years after their first NWA World title bout, Jerry Lawler and Terry Funk battle again for the World title…in the ’90s. And Eddie Gilbert and Funk play a rib on rookie referee Scott Bowden.

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When I was speaking with Jerry Lawler on the day Jack Brisco died, he reflected on his past bouts with former World champions in the ’70s, reserving his highest praise for AWA kingpin Nick Bockwinkel, Dory Funk Jr. and Jack as the top three wrestlers he faced in the ring. However, he also  spoke glowingly of Terry Funk, saying those bouts “were definitely some of my favorites.” The two enjoyed working together so much that the Lawler vs. Funk feud spanned four decades.

I was too young to recall the early battles for the NWA World title between champion Terry Funk and challenger Jerry “the King” Lawler in Memphis. From what I understand, the two had amazing chemistry from the start, with their first bout, a 60-minute draw on Aug. 22, 1976, considered a classic.

The buildup for the bout was excellent, as in the preceding weeks, the promotion supposedly “charted” the young challenger’s rise in the NWA “rankings,” with Lawler knocking off the top contenders before he earned a shot at the famed 10 pounds of gold.

On July 26, fifth-ranked Lawler defeated third-ranked Harley Race to retain the NWA Southern title. Hours later, en route to Nashville on I-40, Lawler’s manager, Sam Bass, died in an automobile accident with wrestlers Pepe Lopez and Frank Hester.

A bit troubling how this clipping from the Commercial Appeal mentions the successful Southern title defense first, and then the death of Bass.

Promoter Jerry Jarrett initially assumed that it was Lawler who had been killed.

“We were all in tears when we approached the traffic that was backed up for miles,” Jarrett recalled in an interview with Tim Dills at kayfabememories.com. “During the drive to the site, we had all concluded that it was Lawler and whoever was with him. It was impossible to determine the kind of car that was burning. We asked how they knew it was wrestlers and the police told us that wrestling gear was down the road from the impact. About that time, Jerry Lawler was spotted walking toward the crash scene. We all cried for joy and then suddenly became somber wondering who was in the car. Lawler told us it had to be Sam Bass.”

Still, the show had to go on.

The following week, attendance jumped from under 6,000 to 9,131 to see No. 3 contender Lawler battle second-ranked Funk, Jr., a former NWA World champ and older brother of titlist Terry. A typical gimmick for the time period: Dory would enter a territory in the weeks preceding his brother, eventually putting over the local star to build them up as a serious threat to Terry. (A similar formula had been used with the Brisco brothers on occasion during Jack’s reign as well.) That was clearly the plan on Aug. 2, 1976, as Lawler defeated Dory to retain the Southern title and climb the NWA ratings to No. 2.

Lawler stumbled in front of over 10,000 fans the next week, dropping the Southern strap on Aug. 9 to No. 1 contender Jack Brisco, the man whom Terry had defeated for the World title. The King regained the throne on Aug. 16, defeating Brisco as a near-capacity crowd looked on. The finish saw Brisco go for his vaunted figure-four leglock. Lawler kicked him off, sending the former World champ shoulder-first into the ringpost. The King finished Brisco with a fistdrop off the middle rope, with Jack selling it beautifully. (This finish was shown several times in several Lawler music videos over the years.)

With higher ”championship ticket prices” (this tactic was used by several promoters during the time to offset the percentage paid to the champ and the NWA office) in effect–a whopping $7 for ringside–10,430 were on hand Aug. 22 as the King and the Funker went to a 60-minute Broadway. The seeds were planted for a memorable rivalry that would last for decades.

Lawler was in line to receive a rematch for the World strap in October of ‘76; however, once again the King had to first go through Terry’s “policeman,” big brother Dory Jr.–this time in a Texas Death Match. For years, the Funks claimed that they invented the Texas Death Match in Amarillo. I’m not sure about that, but the gimmick match came off to the fans as the ultimate test of manhood, typically used to blow off a feud: pinfalls don’t decide the winner; the match keeps going until a man can’t answer the referee’s count of 10, i.e., the last man standing wins. Lawler prevailed, setting up another showdown for the domed globe belt on Oct. 18.

Lawler seemingly won the title from Funk on the 18th, but the decision was overturned with Terry declared the winner by disqualification. That didn’t stop Lawler from retreating to the dressing room with the World strap for a photo shoot with MEMPHIS MAGAZINE. A shot of Lawler wearing the NWA World title ended up gracing the magazine’s cover that same year as part of a piece on Memphis wrestling. I asked Lawler about that incident recently, inquiring whether Funk gave the OK for the publicity stunt.

“No, he had no idea. We did some of kind of deal where I thought I’d won the match, so I took the belt to the dressing room. When I got to the back, I ran up to the photographer who was there to take pictures for the article, saying, ‘Hurry up, hurry up…take my picture! And I put the belt on real quick before Terry got back.”

In the weeks following the Oct. 18 bout, Lawler was billed as “NWA World title claimant,” which the King proclaimed on the Oct. 23 episode of Championship Wrestling on WHBQ. (This rare footage is courtesy of  ’70s-TV.com, which has an incredible selection of Memphis wrestling footage from the ’70s, ’80s and ’90s for sale. Click here to check out the selection of rare Memphis wrestling DVDs.) Incidentally, don’t ever refer to Jerry Lawler as a “queen”–not that there’s anything wrong with that.

My first real exposure to Funk came in 1981, when Lawler returned from nearly a year-long layoff after suffering a broken leg. I had become a huge wrestling fan around ‘77 at age 6. By ‘79, I was picking up every Apter newsstand magazine my meager allowance could afford, which was the only way for a young mark to himself back in the day. I quickly became familiar with the NWA and AWA World champions, always scanning the ratings for Lawler’s inclusion.

Apter mags like INSIDE WRESTLING, THE WRESTLER and PRO WRESTLING ILLUSTRATED extensively covered Terry’s dastardly attack on Dusty Rhodes on August 26, 1979, which cost the American Dream the NWA championship vs. Harley Race after only a five-day reign on top. While Dory looked like an insurance salesman in photos, Terry with his crazed, wild-eyed looks and sometimes braided hair, appeared insane to me.

By ‘81, I was well aware of the fact that Dory and Terry were the only brothers in history to hold the NWA title, wrestling’s biggest prize. So when Jimmy Hart announced on Saturday, March 21, 1981, that Terry was his latest bounty hunter to come after Lawler’s hide, I knew the King was in for a wild one.  It was easily Lawler’s best match of the year, with the crazed, bloodthirsty Funk  looking to re-break Lawler’s leg with his infamous spinning toe-hold. Following a Texas Death Match on April 6, with Lawler and Plowboy Frazier beating Terry and his brother, Dory, before 8,147 fans, Terry challenged Jerry to an empty arena match at the Coliseum, which was some of the most bizarre footage ever recorded.

What transpired exceeded 9-year-old Scott Bowden’s expectations. In the craziest bouts I’d seen at that age, Lawler and Funk had a classic bloody brawl in front of a hot crowd. For years, Jim Cornette (who was at ringside that night taking photographs for the Apter mags) called this his favorite match, making it required viewing for any young, budding star in the business.

Funk not only sold his ass off–making Lawler appear like a true badass in the process–but he also screamed like a maniac throughout the match. I really thought Terry Funk was insane. Lawler won the no-disqualification bout via countout after hitting Funk’s left leg repeatedly with a steel chair, with announcer Lance Russell (obviously having a ball) comparing it to a lumberjack (Joe LeDuc perhaps) “swinging a big ax.” A tremendous professional wrestling brawl by anyone’s standards.

The following week, Lawler downed big bro Dory, who had returned to Memphis to avenge Terry. On April 6, Lawler and “Giant” Plowboy Frazier beat the Funk brothers in a Texas Death tag bout.

Terry Funk was fed up–and by God, he was going to do something about it. Claiming that Lawler had the fans, the referee, the promotion, the announcers–and even the Memphis Police–on his side, Terry (in a tremendous taped promo) challenged Lawler to a fight in an empty arena. The date of the fight wasn’t made clear, as Lawler quietly accepted on the air and walked off, refusing to elaborate, much to Lance’s chagrin.

When people ask about what I miss most about how wrestling used to be, I always mention the gritty presentation of the ’70s and ’80s product I grew up on, which always made the feuds and issues come off so personal and realistic to me. This entire angle epitomizes that. Funk and Lawler were just two guys who you’d swear hated each other. And they’d settle it in or out of the ring.

Longtime Memphis Wrestling promoter Jerry Jarrett laughed when I asked him about the inspiration for the empty arena bout, which has become a cult classic.

“That was all Terry’s idea,” he says. “To give you an idea of how Terry’s mind works, he called me once saying, ‘Jarrett, I’ve got an idea that’s going to make us both a lot of money. You and I both know that wrestling promoters are stupid sons of bitches. Well, not you, Jarrett. But, anyway, the biggest night to run wrestling is Thanksgiving night. Let’s put a deposit down on every major arena in the United States–I pay half, you pay half–and we’ll sell the date back to the local promoters when it finally dawns on them that we’ve already got their building locked up on that date.’ I calmly explained to Terry, ‘There are probably 300 arenas that we’d have to cover. I think the promoters will simply switch to a different arena rather than pay us. And then we’re gonna be stuck with hundreds of empty arenas and flat broke.’ Terry says, ‘Trust me–they’ll pay us.’ I said, ‘We’ll, do you think they’ll pay us before or after they shoot us?’ The wrestling business was a lot different back then. But that’s how Terry’s mind works, so I wasn’t surprised when he called to say, ‘Let’s have a match in an empty Mid-South Coliseum.’”

About two weeks later, I was watching the live Saturday morning show as Lance announced that an incident had happened between Lawler and Funk. The promotion and TV station had debated whether or not they should even air the footage because it was so graphic. Needless to say, this got my attention. In Memphis, fans had seen just about everything up to that point. Was one of them maimed? Killed? What in the Sam Hill was going on? What followed was some of the strangest footage ever shot in wrestling.

The intro to the infamous empty-arena match is memorable, with Lance lighting a cigarette before proclaiming that there’s a chance “you will never see this.” Too good. And when Funk storms the area and calls Lance and Lawler every name in the book, the Memphis announcer is at the top of his game.

Then Lawler finally appears in full regal regalia for the empty-arena showdown, Funk shouts: “Look, Lance, it’s a clown! Look at that fool; look at that idiot! There’s nobody here, Lawler, you jackass! What, you got a gun under there? A knife? Huh, Lawler, you got a knife?” (Lawler years later told me he wished he hadn’t come out with the crown and cape–he almost cracked up when Funk started in on him.)

Cape Fear: The maniacal Funk rips into Lawler for showing up in all his royal glory.

The brawl culminates with a seemingly career-threatening eye injury to Funk, who screams the immortal words, “Lance…my eye. My eyeeeee! Arrrgghhh-eeeeeeee! My eyyeeeee!” (The late Eddie Gilbert could do a spot-on impersonation of the incident.) The action itself is lame by their standards, but still, it’s damn fascinating to watch.

For more on the Jerry Lawler vs. Terry Funk feud in Memphis Wrestling, check back tomorrow.

Clippings courtesy of memphiswrestlinghistory.com.

File under Jerry Lawler vs. Terry Funk feud.

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