Scott Bowden presents Kentucky Fried Rasslin

Joanie Laurer (formerly WWE’s Chyna) has been named in connection with a battery investigation being conducted by the Los Angeles Police Department, according to celebrity gossip site TMZ.com. The alleged victim, Gabriela Targos, reportedly felt her life was in danger during an violent incident at an LA-area motel recently.

Reports TMZ: “Chyna called her up to hang out at the motel Saturday-but when Gabriela arrived, she claims Chyna immediately snapped and began attacking her for no reason. Targos, who claims she’s been friends with Chyna for years, says the former wrestler punched her in the face, dragged her by the hair, beat her with a wire hanger and threatened to kill her. Gabriela claims she somehow managed to run out of the motel room, booked it down the street, and approached some cops who were eating dinner-who then took a police report.” 

Since leaving WWE, Laurer has gradually been spinning out of control in a desperate attempt to stay in the spotlight. Rumors of alcoholism and drug use have plagued her. I cannot say for sure, but something in her life has certainly eroded her once-chiseled body, along with her mental state.

Some say, however, that they could see the writing on the locker-room wall for Laurer during the height of her popularity with WWE. Reportedly, more times than not, the former Chyna was aloof, even downright rude, backstage. When her demands for more money were not met by WWE in 2001, she was released. (Admittedly, the fact that Triple H, her ex, was seeing Steph McMahon probably hastened her departure.)

Some females in wrestling, Laurer and Sable in particular, seem to forget that wrestling is what made them-without it, they don’t offer much to mainstream entertainment. They receive offers for Playboy shoots and TV guest-starring roles solely based on their popularity in the business. Even the stunning Torrie Wilson, perhaps the prettiest of the WWE women (until Maria) to appear in Hef’s mag, is nothing special compared to a Playboy Playmate; however, at the time of her initial shoot, she was the most beautiful woman in wrestling.

When women use wrestling as a springboard to a bigger payday elsewhere (Hollywood, music industry, etc.), the end result is usually disappointing. That’s probably what alarmed me most about the conversation I had with Stacy Keibler few years ago at a club in LA. When Stacy told me of her desire to take acting classes and leave life on the road in wrestling behind, I understood but wondered if she could really tolerate being out of the spotlight while devoting the amount of patience and time required for an acting career in Los Angeles. Though not wildly successful as actress today, Keibler has at least adjusted well; Chyna…not so much.

Behold, the artist at work.

Guys and girls of all shapes, sizes, hairstyles, races and religions take note: Brooke Hogan is up for just about anything. On her latest postings on the Global Grind (yes, the Brookester has a blog), she “hollars” about traditional marriage institutions, affirmative affection and the rigors of fame.

She ponders: “How can you define what love is?  Does it have a look? Do you have to be a certain color? Have a certain belief? Have the same religion?….What about being the same sex? This is a subject that I am passionate about because I have always been sort of an outcast in the fact that I never really go with the flow or mold to what people want me to be. “I have dated very different people all my life. Black, white, Spanish, Jewish, Muslim…and yes, I even tried dating a girl.  My best friend is gay and has been a better friend to me than most of my straight ones. Why should we punish people for being true to themselves? Its like telling John Mayer to sing “Hit me baby one more time.” It just doesn’t work if its not real. What’s so beautiful about giving different people a chance is that you fall in love with their differences and see that beauty exists everywhere. In mocha colored skin, freckles, blue eyes, curly hair or straight hair, girl…or boy. Its interesting to hear where people have been in their lives, their reasons for being who they are today, and hearing their beliefs and dreams.  It really improves YOUR life by filling it with …well…LIFE!

“I don’t feel I’m above anybody, but It’s very hard finding friends who understand what I go through on a day to day basis. I’m in the public eye, and things are just different. Unfortunately, fame comes with the things I love to do. I wish the world had a more innocent view and saw just the music and the art I produce and get inspired:)”

My goodness, I feel my soul Hulking up as I type this. I believe I can speak for all of us when I say that Brooke’s progressive thoughts on “mocha-colored” people gives us all hope for race relations in this country. I’ll admit that it’s hard for me to disagree with her view on traditional marriages, especially in light of the train wreck known as Mr. and Mrs. Terry Bollea. Yes, if only all the “haters” out there could take off the blinders and see the beauty of Brooke’s art-which seems to consist mainly of bikini shoots, tanning poolside, shopping with her bro and pole dancing-the world would be a better place, brother.

While some critics would argue Jerry Lawler doesn’t even know 10 wrestling holds, I can’t help but think of the glaring omissions from this list. I’m talking moves Lawler honed with years of practice at the amateur level at Treadwell High School and Memphis State University before making his mark in the professional ranks. Such as the choke, eye rake, fireball into the eyes, chain-wrapped fist knockout punch, kick to the groin, hair pull, snap mare and rapid punches, tossing opponent into referee Jerry Calhoun, backdrop, throwing opponent over the top rope, bodyslamming opponent through a windshield, smashing opponent’s head into the turnbuckle, raking opponent’s back with fingernails, hitting opponent with a chair, kneedrop to the throat, small package, stuffing opponent’s head down the toilet, baseball bat swing to the ribs, throwing a mustard jar, ramming a piece of wood from shattered ring steps into the eyes, powder into the eyes, ramming opponent’s head into the ringpost, bodyslam on the hard concrete, hitting foe in the head with removed boot, ducking Jimmy Hart’s punches and cane shots, ether-soaked towel to the face, pulling tights and, of course, the King’s world-famous moonsault.