Archive for August, 2011

Matt Hardy commits career suicide

August 30th, 2011 1 comment

Toilet humor: Despite flushing away his career, Matt Hardy never dies.

I haven’t been this upset since Vince McMahon was tragically killed with a car bomb during a live episode of Monday Night RAW. Below is Matt Hardy’s “suicide note,” posted on YouTube and tweeted to his followers earlier this evening. (I love how a Google Ad Sense banner ad pops up midway through the video, as if to say, “This suicide has been brought to you by one-stop source for authentic jerseys, caps, tees and hoodies this NFL season.”) And really, I don’t think that font was nearly ominous enough; c’mon, Matt, don’t behave like this is your first suicide-you’ve been here before, so act like it.

I have to assume this means the old Matt Hardy is dead, and he’s been reborn a la Vince Russo. Sort of like how the Undertaker always “dies” and comes back with a new wrinkle in his gimmick. How can I be so cold? Maybe it’s this tweet from his sister-in-law, Beth (Jeff’s wife): “When the cops show up to our house at 11 pm, for a ‘suicide call’ the fucking joke is over @MATTHARDYBRAND. Stop trying to work the Internet. I guess you got what you wanted. Everyone is talking about you, again. But it’s not in a good way.”

And here I thought Kevin Nash powerbombing CM Punk at SummerSlam was a terrible finish….

UPDATE 8/31/11: The Fayetteville Observer is reporting it was all a hoax, a personal joke among Matt and his followers worldwide, so get over it, haters! Shocking! Brilliant! A modern-day Orson Welles crossed with Andy Kaufman that Matt Hardy. His suicide note has already been deleted by YouTube for violating its terms of service and let’s hope Twitter banishes him as well. I’ve since removed the note/video as well and replaced it with a song that’s only fitting.


This ‘Piledriver’ should have been banned in all 50 states

August 25th, 2011 5 comments

And you thought Brooke's last album sucked….

Dave Meltzer of The Wrestling Observer notes that reader Jason Singh reminded him that 24 years today, Koko B. Ware was filmed lip-synching for the “Piledriver” video, the title cut from one of those treacherous wrestling albums of the ’80s, as part of a 4-hour-plus TV taping typical of the era.

During these marathon tapings, they usually filmed nearly 20 squash matches, along with live interview segments like Piper’s Pit. Newspaper ads usually lured people in with promises to be “seen on TV” and a hot dark-match main event, sometimes headlined by Hulk Hogan, Roddy Piper, Jake Roberts or Randy Savage, to prevent the audience from bailing early to give the appearance of a full house, even for the crappiest of lineups, on its syndicated shows like “Superstar” and “Wrestling Challenge.”

Apparently, Meltzer had the misfortune of attending this particular show at San Francisco’s Cow Palace.

He writes: “…They filmed the ‘Piledriver’ video for Koko B. Ware and had him lip synching in the ring.  I remember that.  What a disaster.  They made Ware do it three times and the crowd didn’t like it the first time, and downright hated it the second and third time.  I think Ken Patera tore his triceps that night.  This was a long night, more than 20 matches, I think they taped four hours of television and then Hulk Hogan beat Killer Khan in the main event.  The crowd was still hot for the main event after all that.”

The end result made a strong case for a nationwide ban-not just limited to the Memphis territory-on the hold of the same name.

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Hulkamania runs wilder than ever in new porn parody

August 25th, 2011 1 comment

Based on a true story.

As my past work shows, I love a good porn parody. But I must say that I was creeped out when I heard the news of a “Hogan Knows Best” porn flick, mostly because Hulk and Brooke are reportedly playing themselves. (Can Brutus Beefcake and the Nasty Boys be far behind?)

I can only imagine the reaction of the rather litigious Hulkster. (I mean if he was that upset over a cereal commercial, I can only imagine what he’ll say to this.) Good luck, Hulk. If Vivid can get away under the “Fair Use” laws protecting parodies-George Lucas apparently can’t do a thing to prevent the upcoming release of “Star Wars XXX”-then Hogan most likely won’t make a dime from this.

The U. S. Supreme Court decision in 1994 regarding 2 Live Crew’s parody of Roy Orbison’s song “Pretty Woman” was a major ruling in this area. The court established that parody is a defense against copyright infringement claims. In the case of trademarks, the law provides some statutory “fair use” protection. But, because it is so narrow, the courts have added three additional categories: (1) nominative, (2) comparitive advertising and (3) parody.

As New York lawyer Baila H. Celedonia notes:

A review of trademark parody cases give us no bright line rules. Rather, they appear to be a barometer of both the presiding judge’s sense of humor and sense of fairness. As Tom McCarthy puts it, ‘a non-infringing parody is merely amusing, not confusing.’”