Home > Uncategorized > Kamala, Steve Cooley locked in grudge-match battle to be named California’s new attorney general

Kamala, Steve Cooley locked in grudge-match battle to be named California’s new attorney general

November 9th, 2010 Leave a comment Go to comments
Print Friendly

Kamala declares victory on Nov. 3 after initial votes indicated a victory for the Harris camp.

CBS San Francisco is reporting that former Southern heavyweight wrestling champion Kamala (aka “Sugar Bear” Harris) is currently trailing Los Angeles County District Attorney Steve Cooley by more than 50,000 votes, as data from the election to name California’s next attorney general continues to be tabulated.

Kamala was plucked from obscurity when manager J.J. Dillon stumbled upon the Ugandan savage during a jungle safari in 1982. Always a keen eye for talent, Dillon was mesmerized by the giant specimen’s size, speed and agility, wisely realizing that Kamala’s keen hunting skills would translate well to professional-wrestling competition.

After a bloody feud with Jerry Lawler in Memphis for the Southern title, Kamala moved on to Mid-South Wrestling and World Class before achieving his greatest fame during a memorable feud with Hulk Hogan over the World Wrestling Federation championship in 1986.

Headhunter: Kamala sticks it to Hulk Hogan during a WWF battle in 1986.

Years after retiring from the mat wars, Kamala shocked wrestling and political analysts alike on June 8, 2010, when Harris received the Democratic nomination for California Attorney General, despite incessant displays of ritualistic belly slapping and awkwardly gazing into TV cameras without saying a word during television interviews.

At the close of the polls on Election Day, the race between Cooley and Harris was too close to call with initial votes. At that point, Cooley trailed Harris by about 15,000 votes. Much like his professional wrestling career, Kamala seemed not only confused about his apparent victory but also seemed to unaware he was in a competition at all, with a far-away look in his eyes at the podium when addressing his supporters. The Beverly Hills Courier reported Monday that Cooley had a lead of 19,189 votes after more data had been tabulated. Today, Cooley expanded that lead, garnering 3,782,957 votes, or 46 percent. Harris currently has 3,731,518, or 45.5 percent, CBS San Francisco reported Tuesday.

Harris’s campaign officials remain undaunted.

“Kamala is not someone you want to make angry,” says Dillon, who has successfully made the transition to campaign manager, shrewdly guiding the savage Democrat  from the squared circle to political circles. “Kamala forged a trail of bloodshed never before seen in professional wrestling, chopping down everyone who got in the way, from Andre the Giant to Bruiser Brody. I can assure you that this little punk Cooley is no different. We’ll squash that feeble Republican like the cockroach that he is. We will not rest until Kamala is named California’s next attorney general.”

Kamala’s senior consultant, Kim Chee, refused comment.

The campaign has been heated, with several negative ads aired by both parties. Most notably, Cooley criticized Kamala for the wrestler’s past association with manager Jimmy Hart and a “fast-lane lifestyle of watermelons and women throughout the 1980s.”

  1. November 10th, 2010 at 08:19 | #1

    At first glance I thought that to be Jake The Snake’s head on the spear.

    Excellent Work.

    I love Kamala he has a unique character that is like a misunderstood monster where his managers boss him around. He looks confused and even sad a times. I do think the face paint adds to it.

    Kamala has the saddest look I’ve ever seen in wrestling when he is interrupted in this video which is also a gem by the way.
    I went to a show at the coliseum around this time and they had Kamala’s music playing over the PA system before the show and at intermission.

  2. Ira L.
    November 10th, 2010 at 14:46 | #2

    I was wondering when someone was going to play the Kamala card. Nice job. A long-time reader. Hope you’ve got your issues resolved, I missed the blog.

  3. Travis H
    November 10th, 2010 at 16:24 | #3

    I’m sure if ol’ Kamala broke out eating a raw chicken, Mr. (Wildcat Wendell) Cooley may concede.

    LIke I wrote to Scott earlier..wow, Hart was on a watermelon roll! I’m surprised The Mouth didn’t teach Kamala to say, “Hey, where the white women at?” (Sorry, had the channel Blazing Saddles!!)

  1. No trackbacks yet.